Found Out

Lita looks great in flames.
Today we rode the Shanghei version of the bullet train to Souzou. The peasants at the train station would come and stand right next to us and stare up and down. No politically correct 12 inches personal space. Children were running around with no bottom to their pants so they could just squat and go anytime they want. Yesterday we saw a parent hold their child out from theirbody so they could poo on the sidewalk.
Souzou is considered the garden city of China. Notice we say "considered". We rode a canal boat. It is a lot like Venice. just as dirty. Children were swimming in it as people were pouring things into it.
then we went to a traditional Chinese garden that has been reproduced in the NY Met Mus. and in Portland, their sister city.



Tonight we were excited because we were not going to have the usual lazy susan chinese dinnner. It was billed as a western dinner...................
We figure that means they left out the rice. But the bananas with red onion and cilantro was goooood. So was the skimmed bean curd skin and celery.
Tomorrow we fly to board our cruise on the Yangtse.
So far the weather has been fantastic. Good luck follows us.

Brue Sky

We have been doing so many things we can't believe that we were just at the wall. We are too tired to be funny or clever. Deal with it Pegi. Oh thanks Peg for the world news update. We also heard that Britney Spears sister just had her baby. Now we are caught up to current news. It's a good thing too. CNN here has been showing the same news for 3 days. No weather here either. The approaching typhoon is not on the news at all.
First, Rob, thank you very much for ALL you are doing and you don't really need to kiss our ass.
Although others have notice our ass and want to have their picture taken with it. Also Richard's nose.....
Later we will fill you in on our travel group. It's a whole nother entry. Yesterday we saw a kung fu school presentation, a jade factory, the olympic venues, and then flew to Shanghei and saw a Chinese acobatic show before we went to our new hotel.
Today we went to the Bund, Shanghei museum, the Jade Buddha and drove through parts of Shanghei. Barbie accidently killed an insect inside the Buddhist temple.

Shanghai is an ooooool city with new, futuristic buildings built right on top of them. Think Blade Runner.

Traveling with John

BEFORE AFTER

We should know by now. In Australia he missed the bus and was tardy a couple of times., causing us undue worry. He also took us on a short walk to a Thai restaurant that turned into several miles. "It's just a couple more blocks." he said as he did his famous walk-run.
In Tokyo he said, "I know all about the subway, and we'll take it to the Tower."
Several miles of walking after we got off at the wrong station and then walked the wrong way, the Tower came into sight. "It's just a couple of blocks." he said repeatedly.
He has a thing about "short cuts." Both in Tokyo and here in Beijing he took us through holes in fences and over railroad tracks to get to our target destination.
He has finally found someone who can keep up with him. Kaleb, who is 14 went to the top of the GW in record time.

Rob, chin wo pee gu!

Hello from the big wall place! We climbed around and walked miles today. Jenny, you'd be proud of Gigi. We took a picture of Great Wallaffitti. We love our guides. Today Lilli said, "That very chill." when she meant "Cool." Went to dead Ming guy tombs and walked the everlasting refreshing walk of many animal statues in the pouring rain. No different from the non rainy weather. Just a little wetter and slightly cooler.
We have noticed that there seem to be no traffic rules except for Drive and Honk.
We have enjoyed seven lazy susan chopstick meals featuring unidentifiable items, that Mom calls mouse paws. We are very brave. Went to cloisonne factory and did arts and crafts. We bought several useless, but important objects.
freshette score; Lynn 2--Barbie 0.

Knee How

We would like to thank the benevolent Chinese government for allowing us to send messages to our family. China is beautiful and the people are friendly and hardly ever make fun of us.
We have been to the Forbidden City, where 9,000 concubines and 10,000 eunuchs and probably a bunch of royal dudes lived. We also visited Tiananmen Square where a tank did NOT run over a young man in 1989.
A lady in our group had a step counter on her ankle and said we walked 13K, whatever that means. The walking wasn't hard but the temp was 86 degrees and the humidity was 106%.
We also went on a pedicab ride through the hutang neighborhood. We tipped our peddlers very well as they had a load to haul.
Next, we had tea in an old lady's house. She was sweet, but her tea was hot and, well, see above.

Today we went to the Dragon Lady's summer palace and the Temple of Heaven.
There, retired people gather daily to socialize and excercise. They dance and sing horrible karoke and play games, such as synchronized tennis raquet ball ballancing, swishy ribbon dancing, feather hacky-sac competition and jitter bugging.
Thank you Rob and Jenny, for all of your care. Poor puppies!
We were very very very close to giving you our password but we recovered just in time.
Thank you Mom, too.
Ttomorrow: The Great Wall.

Mom youd hate it here

And you thought we couldnt do this in Japan
Thank you rob for getting litas toes done We have had quite the full emersion here We went to the Tokyo Tower and various scoopy roofed old buildings
Today we go to China and say goodbye to our lovely bidets. Ill fill in more details when the keyboard isnt in some funny language with squiggles on it
It took us five minutes to find the @.
As our daddy always said Je me demande ce qi font les pouvre jans or something like that.
We are having a great time. I cant find the apostrophe.
Love ya mean it.
We found a snow globe at the Tower.

Missed It By THAT Much

You probably think we are somewhere over the Pacific, but NOOOOO. Our flight from Sac to SFO was delayed because of fog in the bay so we...well we didn't miss our connection but when we got there (We ran, yes, RAN the whole way) some old bat sent some stand-by weenies onto the plane. We had already run our boarding passes through the machine when she, while trying to be the boss of the world, let the people who didn't have a reservation on through and ordered us to stay. Lynn, being her mild and meek self, threw a hissy fit that drew a crowd of people in agreement with her.
To make a long story short we are here in the Hyatt in SFran eating their food and drinking their Long Island iced teas.
Tomorrow we fly business class to Beijing, then on to Tokyo for a couple of days, and then back to Beijing. They gave each of us $1000.00 dollars to shut us up. It won't work.

We are going to make a commercial where we say, "We know you have choices other than United. We suggest you take one of them."

Another chapter from life's rich pageant.

The Night Before

It's 9:45. John finally packed his stuff. He was waiting for the dogs to be distracted. He didn't want to upset them. They hate for their people to put things in those black, zippery boxes. They are now at their grandmother's house. Perhaps grandmothers are better for your four-legged babies than isyourdogalive blogging sons.

The last time we went out of the country together, while scuba diving at the Great Barrier Reef, John met with a little problem.

We are wondering what sort of trouble he'll get into this time. We'll keep you posted.

The shuttle is coming for us tomorrow morning at 6:45.

Ring on Cheese

Not so long ago, Barbie's daughter, Whitney, went to Great Britain to study for a semester. She and her travel mate took a roll of little yellow stickers that said "Ring on Cheese." They stuck them in obscure places on landmarks, such as the Eiffel Tower, Edinberg Castle and the Blarney Stone.
What does "Ring on Cheese" mean? We don't know. Why did they do it? We don't know. Barb ran across the remaining stickers yesterday and we were thinking of taking them with us and putting them on various landmarks in Asia. We were wondering who will volunteer to come get us out of the hoosegow?
I wonder what it feels like to get caned?
Never mind. That's very different.

Beijing Fast Food

To the great friends who have sent us emails with advice, we thank you. Yes we will steer clear of the fried donkey bladders, the goat lungs with red peppers, fried iguana tails on a stick, and the slimey green stuff!
We're sure John and Richard will try the Finest Kind Cock Heads, though. They are just that way.
We plan to take a jar of peanut butter if it doesn't send us over the weight limit. (No Comments, Rob.) Also we can find out just how long a person can live on rice alone. We are not worried. We are coming from a country where you can die from eating tomatoes and spinach.
Yes, we are doing our leg strengthening excercises for the wall that has been dubbed "The Great Stairs of China" but we won't need them for the hole in the ground potties. (See previous entry.)

Lot's of World Left to Put on Bucket List

It's me, Lynn.
I have this map that I put little gold beads at every place on the planet I have visited. I took the liberty of placing beads on where we are going next week. We have been a lot of places...BUT LOOK at all of the places we haven't been! I had better get busy. I'm not getting any younger.

Note to Rob. Stop annoying the Blog Administrator. Did we do this to you when you were on your trip? :-) (your writing was excellent, but...)

To a Teacher, "x" Means Times

The book tells us that our one piece of luggage we get to take must measure 62 inches length x width x height. After calling them to learn that the X did not mean "times," we switched our worry to the 44 pounds that it can weigh. Good thing we got those panties, huh.

We plan to leave our clothing behind after we wear it because we're bringing home some silk. And some wee bowls. And whatever else we find that we can't live without, like a Buddha in a snow globe.

Anyway, Lynn decided her suitcase looked too worn and ordinary. So she put apples all over it. Subtly, of course. Just like SHE is.

Lost in Translation

Tonight we watched "Lost in Translation" just to get us in the mood. We have seen it before, but this time we looked at the city of Tokyo. And we think Vegas is the quintessential city of lights. ha

Next we watched a couple of Barb's videos of past trips to Kyoto and New Orleans. Barb is no Sophia Coppola. I haven't seen so many views of the inside of camera bags and car floors in my viewing life. We are relieving her of her camera duties.

17 Day Undies and Instant Manhood

Barb heard that REI had Seventeen Day Underwear for travelers. Now, I have heard of people who turn their underwear inside out after one day. I have even heard of people then turning their underwear around backwards to get another day out of them. Putting all of the combinations together will only get you four days the way I see it. I couldn't figure out how one could get 17 days wear out of a pair of panties without becoming socially unacceptable in a group situation.

So off we went to REI, to check out these magic undies.

When we found them we saw that they were quick dry skivvies that will probably last for 17 washes. We each got two pair. We will be gone for 24 days. We'll have ten days left when we get home!

We found several other travel items but the best find was, a feminine urinary director!

After reading about "the hole in the floor, toiletless toilets" in China we almost panicked. We had already bought enough sanitary wipes to keep Monk AND Rob happy for a month. But this! This was serendipity! I grabbed one but Barbie was too embarrassed to get one until I told her I would NOT share mine.
China, bring it on.

Big Ass Plans

We have decided that our project when in Tokyo (other than finding a Starbucks to get a Tokyo city mug) will be to find and photograph the most peculiar item we discover in a vending machine.

Another favorite activity is to find the stupidest thing in a snow globe. While in Paris we looked for a Mona Lisa in the Snow.

We are working up our nerve to stand on the glass floor of the Tokyo tower and peer through the look down window. You'd think that two brave women who have climbed the Sydney Harbor Bridge will be able to do this with ease. It is 333 meters high. The Eiffel Tower is 320. The bridge in Sydney is only 134, but then again there were times during the climb that there was nothing underneath us.
I'm sure we'll see about one too many temples, too.

No, Rob.

Note to Rob:
I will not fall for any more of your tricks to get our password.
Note to our other readers: If suddenly, this blog begins to get very, very strange, Lynn's feral son has figured out the password, as it is his goal.
If it remains only mildly strange it is still us.